Politically Incorrect Joke...

Stolen from Warthog, over at Warthog's Wrants.

Three strangers strike up a conversation in an airport lounge while waiting for their respective flights ...

One is an American Indian passing through from Lame Deer, another is a Cowboy on his way to Billings for a livestock show and the third passenger is a fundamentalist Arab student, newly arrived at Montana State University from the Middle East ..

Their discussion drifts to their diverse cultures. Soon the two Westerners learn that the Arab is a devout, radical Muslim and the conversation falls into an uneasy lull.

The cowboy leans back in his chair, crosses his boots on a magazine table, tips his big sweat-stained hat forward over his face, and lights a cigarette. The wind outside is blowing tumbleweeds around, and the old windsock is flapping; but still no plane has arrived.

Finally, the American Indian clears his throat saying softly, 'At one time my people were many, but sadly, now we are few."

The Muslim student raises an eyebrow and leans forward,'Once my people were few,' he sneers, 'and now we are many. Why do you suppose that is?'

The cowboy removes his cigarette from his mouth and from the darkness beneath his Stetson says in a smooth drawl . .

'I reckon that's 'cause we ain't played Cowboys and Muslims yet, But I do believe it's a-comin'.'

Shit Magnets...

Anyone who has ever spent any time in EMS will know exactly what I'm talking about. Sometimes they're referred to as a black cloud, but in NJ we always called em shit magnets. You get into an ambulance with them, and you get the feeling of dread in the pit of your stomach. You just KNOW that you're going to be stuck on run, after run, after run.

Maybe you should have packed a lunch?!?!?! (We gave one of the local firefighters a packed lunch after he took 1 run with one of our EMTs. I think it was like 6 runs later (after passing the firehouse multiple times with the guys waving and laughing at him) that he finally managed to get out of the ambulance. (And marathon runs like that will take it out of you in the worst way.)

Anyway, a couple of years into my career as a volunteer EMT in northern NJ, we're covering the local fair. It's evening (we were cooking hamburgers and hotdogs for dinner [fair food is good, but gets expensive when you live at the place for more than a week.]) We just happened to overhear one of "our" fire departments doing a self-dispatch from the firehouse (apparently the dispatch tower was down?) for an MVA in our primary. The crew on duty that evening jumped in one of the ambulances and put themselves in service to the call. It wasn't long after they started responding that the updates started coming in from the scene.

"We're going to need another ambulance, multiple patients to be transported." Was radioed from the firefighters on scene to headquarters.

A second crew was hastily put together and put themselves in service to the accident scene.

Seconds later: "Dispatch, get me extrication for a door pop." (Our squad in the area was running rescue at the time [and they still should be...in my humble opinion]) We had a rescue guy at the fair with us, but I was as close as they could get for a second rescue guy (and I know just enough about rescue to get myself in trouble.) I got to ride shotgun to the job.

We pull up on scene and we're directed to the vehicle that has a door that needs-a-poppin. Only the door isn't jammed, and we managed to get it open with handtools only. Local fire chief and I bent that door so far back it was junk by the time we were done with it.

We end up using the rescue truck as a supply box, and putting our patient on a backboard. We load her into one of the ambulances on scene, and I get directed to maintain patient contact. OK, this I can do. Shortly, a second EMT with a second patient is put into the bus with me, and the Shit Magnet (mentioned in the first paragraph) gets behind the drivers seat.

We're the first crew to leave the accident scene, leaving the other patients in the more then capable hands of the other 2 ambulance crews on scene (we ended up with 4 vehicles on location). On the way to the ER, patients are stable, no major complaints (as far as I remember anyway). We're coming down the hill into the town were the ER is located, I've called ahead and given a report, when one of the dispatchers gets on the radio and tells SM to "go home." (this was a fairly regular occurance for us...). I don't remember the rest of the conversation, but I did chime in by sticking my head through into the cab of the bus and saying. "SM, I love you to death, but if I get stuck in this damned ambulance with you for the rest of the night, I'm gonna be pissed!"

We finish the transport, and manage to restock our ambulance that had been stripped of backboards and other important equipment. We manage to leave the ER will a fully equipped truck, so we're ready to go on the next job. We head back to the fair, stopping off at Dunkin Donuts on the way.

We turn ONTO the access road for the fairgrounds, and SM turns to me (I'm still in the back) and says, "See, we made it back, no problem."

Immediately, as if God is laughing at us:

"Dispatch from [the fair], start us a CAD, we have reports of CPR in progress on the fairgrounds.

I groan, look at SM in the mirror and say "GREAT, thanks, love you too. Oh well, ask 'em where we need to take this bad boy."

Ended up treating the CPR, and saving his life. Awesome feelings got better a year later, when the patient walked into the first aid station to THANK us for saving his life. He was back to dance the next year!

That was an awesome feeling!

Guns for Liberals

Sent to me from a friend via email.

Dog CPR

Thanks to Ambulance Driver.

Too true... Funny Ambulance Cartoon

Stolen from Cheating Death.

This was just too funny!

EMS Humor

I found this photo online, I think it was Facebook actually, and I realized that EMS responders have a really really warped sense of humor... but I guess it comes with all of the stuff that we see on a regular basis! Hope you enjoyed this!

Quotes Collection

Quotes collected from all over the place. I don't remember where they all came from, but each of them means something to me.

Greater love hath no man then to lay down his life for another...

Guns Save Lives. EMT's Save Lives. But...
EMT's With Guns Scare People!

"Live life with lights and sirens blaring"

"Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics."

"Always do sober, what you said you'd do drunk. That'll teach you to keep your mouth shut!"

Guns Save Lives. EMT's Save Lives. But...
EMT's With Guns Scare People!

"Laugh all you want, but when the zombies come we both know whose house you will be running to for protection."

When the anti-gunner got to heaven he asked, "God, why didn't you protect me from that violent criminal?" God replied "I made you a citizen of a free country with law abiding armed citizens, and you worked to take that right away. What did you expect?"

Senior SOF Editor Don McLean came up with an objective definition of “Political Correctness” as”…a doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical, liberal minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream medal, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end.”

Jumba: Don't worry, is all part of plan. We are professionals. Hey! Get that out of your mouth! - Reminds me of some of the people I work with...

"When you long for a life of ease remember diamonds are made under pressure."

--you may never need a gun, but if you do...you will need it more than anything you've ever needed in your life.

--if you "need" a gun...you have a problem, if you don't have one...your problems just got a lot worse.

Life is short...
break the rules.
forgive quickly.
kiss slowly.
love truly.
laugh uncontrollably.
and never regret anything
that once made you smile...

"Never regret something you did, because at one point, it was exactly what you wanted."

"In your darkest hour, never worry that there is no hope for the future. The most extraordinary thing about this life is that YOU are the author of your own destiny, and you get to decide what's in the next chapter."


"Courage is not the absense of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear"


The best years of our lives are the hardest, the most complicated, and the most unusual. The years when experience continuously knocks on our door, but the lessons are buried among time. We struggle to understand not only ourselves, but also all that surrounds.
-Sarah


It's the soldier, not the reporter,
Who gave us our freedom of the press.
It's the soldier, not the poet,
Who gave us our freedom of speech.
It's the soldier, not the campus organizer,
Who gave us our the freedom to demonstrate.
It's the soldier, Who salutes the flag,
Who serves others with respect for the flag,
And whose coffin is draped by the flag,
Who allows the protestor to burn the flag."

"But I, being poor, have only my dreams. I have spread my dreams under your feet. Tread softly because you tread on my dreams."