Politically Incorrect Joke...

Stolen from Warthog, over at Warthog's Wrants.

Three strangers strike up a conversation in an airport lounge while waiting for their respective flights ...

One is an American Indian passing through from Lame Deer, another is a Cowboy on his way to Billings for a livestock show and the third passenger is a fundamentalist Arab student, newly arrived at Montana State University from the Middle East ..

Their discussion drifts to their diverse cultures. Soon the two Westerners learn that the Arab is a devout, radical Muslim and the conversation falls into an uneasy lull.

The cowboy leans back in his chair, crosses his boots on a magazine table, tips his big sweat-stained hat forward over his face, and lights a cigarette. The wind outside is blowing tumbleweeds around, and the old windsock is flapping; but still no plane has arrived.

Finally, the American Indian clears his throat saying softly, 'At one time my people were many, but sadly, now we are few."

The Muslim student raises an eyebrow and leans forward,'Once my people were few,' he sneers, 'and now we are many. Why do you suppose that is?'

The cowboy removes his cigarette from his mouth and from the darkness beneath his Stetson says in a smooth drawl . .

'I reckon that's 'cause we ain't played Cowboys and Muslims yet, But I do believe it's a-comin'.'

Dog CPR

Thanks to Ambulance Driver.

Homes for the Homeless

Stolen from Common Folks Using Common Sense

(as told to me by “USMC - Retired” of Leesburg, Georgia):

I’m reminded of the time little Catherine, the daughter of some friends, told me she wanted to be President one day.

Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there with us - and I asked Catherine - ‘If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?’

Catherine replied - ‘I would give houses to all the homeless people.’

‘Wow - what a worthy goal you have there, Catherine.’ I told her, ‘You don’t have to wait until you’re President to do that, you can come over to my house and clean up all the dog poop in the back yard and I will pay you $5 dollars. Then we can go over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $5 dollars to use for a new house.’

Catherine (who was about 6) thought that over for a second, while her mom looked at me seething, and Catherine replied, ‘Why doesn’t the homeless guy come over and clean up the dog poop and you can pay him the $5 dollars?’

I said ‘Welcome to the Republican Party, Catherine.’

We haven’t seen them since then.

Friday Funny

Stolen from: Rustmeister

I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Eric, the 11 year old next door, whose bedroom looks like Mission Control, and asked him to come over.

Eric clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. As he was walking away, I called after him, "So, what was wrong?"

He replied, "It was an ID ten T error."

I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless I inquired, "An ID ten T error? What's that? In case I need to fix it again?"

Eric grinned.... "Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?"

"No," I replied.

"Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it out."

So I wrote down: I D 1 0 T..

Parrots!

Stolen from the internet!

A woman went to her priest with a problem. "Father, I have two female parrots, and they only know how to say one thing. All they ever say is, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Wanna have some fun?' "
"That's terrible!" exclaimed the priest. "But I think I can help. Bring your two female parrots over to my house, and I will put them with my two male parrots whom I taught to pray and read the Bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase, and your female parrots will learn to praise and worship."

The next day, the woman brought her female parrots to the priest's house. His two male parrots were holding rosary beads and quietly praying in their cage. The woman put her two female parrots in the cage with the male parrots. The females said, "Hi, we're prostitutes. Wanna have some fun?"

One male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and exclaimed "Put those beads away, our prayers have been answered!"